Every now and again I come across articles like this one on the football section of the BBC Sport website. The best bits are towards the bottom as I like to read about particular teams' chants, and how they can sometimes highlight the unimaginative creations of certain teams' fans as they unintentionally allow their inferior intelligence to shine through.
What an interesting weekend of football it's been... while Manchester City occupy top spot in the Premier League their rivals Manchester United languish in 16th place after three games. Rooney is injured, Ronaldo is unavailable after falling for the old fashioned wind-up tricks played by Pompey on Wednesday night, and what with Saha and Solskjaer injured it's a difficult time for the Red Devils. Everyone laugh!
Chelsea were given a helping hand from the bloke who paves their owner's driveway on Saturday, allegedly (see third from bottom). Yes, it was a ridiculous penalty decision; yes, Liverpool were unlucky; and yes, Liverpool were given a similarly dodgy decision just the week before, from which Gerrard scored the winner. Two points gained at Villa, two lost at home to Chelsea. It's swings and roundabouts, people.
It's been a season of goalkeeping gaffs so far. I'm not keeping an official count, you understand, but by my reckoning both Jens Lehmann and Tony Warner head the list of silly mistakes in the Premier League with two each. Even the usually reliable Brad Friedel decided to get in on the act in Blackburn's 1-1 draw with Arsenal, although his mistake was marginally less embarrassing than Lehmann, who let David Dunn's shot go straight through his hands.
Just when you think it's safe to come out and say that Middlesbrough are a 'nothing' team and will probably struggle against relegation, they go and win a tricky away tie. It shouldn't have been a win because David Healy's goal was disallowed because it crossed the line but failed to connect with the back of the net. As decisions go, I think that one was worse than Rob Styles' at Anfield. The goal-line dispute has come full circle since Bobby Zamora's effort was blocked on the line by teammate Carlos Tevez at Blackburn last season without the ball crossing the line, and on that occasion the goal was given. If Laurie Sanchez is anything like me, he'll feel like he's owed something, and he'll continue to feel like that - even beyond repayment.
I'm surprised with Southampton and Sheffield Wednesday - the only two teams in the Championship who have yet to win a point. Scunthorpe look like they're trying to emulate the good season Colchester had last year by hanging around the play-offs like George Michael around a public toilet. Charlton were rumbled at Stoke, who top the table, and Sheffield United's defeat at Watford supports my continued belief that the Blades are going nowhere with Bryan Robson in charge. I'm sure he's a nice bloke, even though you wouldn't guess it from looking at his constantly miserable face, but he just doesn't seem to have the mental toughness to be a football manager.
As we dip down into League 1 we see my relegation candidates Leyton Orient topping the table, closely followed by Huddersfield - the only other team in the league that can keep up with Orient's 100% start to the season. Well, that's what the league says, when in reality Leeds have also got a 100% record. But they're a bunch of bastards managed by the biggest bastard of them all, so it's too easy to discount them. Carlisle seem to be doing well without a manager, winning another game with a caretaker manager in charge. That means he'll get the job and their form will immediately plummet. Still, it's too early to tell these things so I'm not making any judgments. Apart from Leeds, that is.
After their midweek League Cup first round defeat to Sheffield Wednesday, Rotherham put paid to the media theory that Peterborough will get promoted because they have the son of a really good manager in charge by beating the Posh by three goals to one on a rare Sunday game in League 2. The victory would have looked more convincing had it not been for the visitors pulling back a consolation goal two minutes from time. Peterborough have some money and an inexperienced manager, so it's only right that they're tipped for promotion. Take the name 'Ferguson' out of the equation however and suddenly they become also-rans. The day the media stops bumming Alex Ferguson is the day that crap commentator Clive Tyldesley starts calling him Alex rather than Alec. And don't call him Sir, it'll just inflate his ego beyond that of what we already have to put up with from José Mourinho. Elsewhere in the league we see Accrington and Barnet looking a bit crap, Rochdale (somewhat surprisingly) struggling along with Mansfield, Lincoln being extremely unpredictable by losing 4-0 at home and then winning 3-1 away, and MK Dons already under-achieving. They have a brand-spanking new stadium with soft bits on the plastic seats. Who wants comfort at a football match?
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